home

Hide it in a box. Tape it shut. All the duct tape in the world will do. Don’t feel. Feeling is an avalanche. Too much. Best not to feel. When I’m in my little house not feeling, the feeling is a bright burning light outside. Too bright for me. I stay inside. All good.

But it is dark. I can’t see. Help me. Help me! It is too dark inside but the light out there will burn me up! OOps someone opened the door. Oh no. Ouch! Best to keep that door closed. No use opening that door.

Oh no the room is rotating! I’m going to fall through that door if I don’t hang on. I’m going to tumble and tumble through that door into the abyss below me.

Tumbling and tumbling down. Bliss for a second before I hit the ground. I am falling upwards and downwards at the same time. It’s best not to rhyme.

I can’t let that feeling in. It’s too bright. But what if I dissolve the house and let the feeling spread all around and through me? A warm blanket not a hot laser. The world is ready to embrace me anyway.

They are there I just couldn’t see it. I held myself close with thorns and spikes.

Ouch! I said. My embrace is painful. Love is painful.

Best not let that in here, I said.

Dissolve the house.

Where will I live? I asked.

You’re already home.